passing clouds of butterflies

it always will be appealing to be open to the prospect…

i will do anything… street musician carnival magician

i will learn

the guitar and all the music held in string/tricks of slay of hands

or anything rhythmic that will make you

happy and draw you nearer

keep you close

and always here along - about me;

i see you in the clear sky with the passing clouds

of butterflies a scene so holy/

rainbow colors coming down on flowers… sun rays surrounding all the pretty things

around you;

for me good things come slowly/

but i never stop my wishing/my heart reeling

i pray for you suddenly - i feel you spin about me

as i sing to you;

can i aspire to the talent that will make you feel good/find me appealing;

that evening was a joy - even the fat man overhearing

will lift his arms and dance so freely

that his quiet wife wearing her colored scarf from last Christmas

[covered with her cream - colored - corduroy – coat]

and holding her large bag stuffed to overflow

suddenly starts laughing like the young woman she once was

when she met him and is enthused to grab a hold of his arms and spin with her husband like they were

twenty and O so, so softly

[saying - smiling - yelling - crying]

‘Howard you are something else to me’

and all on the streets of Toledo

while the buses pass by people looking

out of wintery foggy windows

nothing out of the ordinary;

can you smell the French bread baking butter soaked

making it seem like there is nothing sweeter than here and you have no choice

other than to fall in love with me

[so exotic - all else forsaking]

that you agree to marry to me

so warm and happy right here on the cold hard pavement as the world goes on as expected with

people walking dogs on leashes strangers standing and no one talking just you and me in the tree shade

saying simultaneously

‘Yes, I love you and we will marry and always will be… yes - yes – yes’

then before we know it

we are picking out our childrens’ names;

soon running through the park

with the video camera and the games

the film catching us enjoying our life

[on the moving picture frames]

we two sweeping up our children

as they scurry here and there down then up - up - up

laughing freely

we all are deflating balloons crumbling into the patiently waiting leaf pile/

always smiling

we pick the dry leaves

off our sweaters and with a teeth straining smile/

kiss the other on the lips and our three kids

on their rosy cheeks while they push and struggle

with a giggle start to tumble away

from our kisses

and our hugging

crying out their delight with us and each other

not yet knowing they have siblings as friends for life;

is this all a dream or is it real

can God make me so ecstatic

and contented

as i feel

right now and since i met you

learning the guitar or magic trick standing on my head… take your pick;

finding any way to

get you to pay me attention

and me left to ponder in wonder

if ascension

is the right word to

describe

my insides as

i lighten

and float upwards

to the heavens

all with you on my mind;

before

i knew you

i wanted to know you

and now that

i have you

i can never go back

to not having you near me

in my life

and all i know now.